I've been watching each featured blogster pass onto another featured blogster and I've been wondering the same thing all you inferior blogsters have been wondering: Why isn't that sexy beast Italian Stallion featured blogster yet? Well I have several theories, one is that the highly incompetent and mildly retarded leaders of blogster are saving me for a special occasion, like the day we reach global peace and prosperity or the second coming of Jesus. Another theory is that the blogster team fears my God-like power and they fudge their pants at the thought of Italian "12 inches" Stallion being a featured blogster. I don't blame them to be honest, once they give me the throne of featured blogster there won't be much keeping me from conquering the world. Do not fear me simple people of the blogster team, when I become ruler of the world I will be kind to you and give you all the honor of serving as my pets. The leashes may be a little uncomfortable, and tight, and spiked, and laced with herpes, but that's such a small price to pay to have the privilege of bringing me the morning paper and then have me beat you with it.
I understand that there might be a very small minority of people who would say that I can't be a featured blogster because one or two of my articles have a little bit of offensive wording in them. To those people I say f.uck you, and f.uck your mother, and f.uck your dog, or cat if you don't have a dog. You must have been an oxygen deprived fetus because I know damn well that my blogs don't have a f.ucking ounce of offensive shit. Now go have sex with a porcupine so you don't spawn any more dumbasses like you. At that point most people realize that I'm completely right about everything. All my articles are family friendly and highly insightful pieces of literary art, like the one article where I point out how much of a dumbass Nancy Grace is or the article where I point our how much of a dumbass bloggers are.
I know that most of you on blogster worship me, and rightfully so. I'm brilliant, sexy, powerful, intelligent, witty, articulate, wise, and I can juggle but with only two items. Obviously I have the qualifications of a featured blogster.Don't you think its about time that title was given to someone who deserves it? I expect the title and the free breakfast coupon to McDonalds that goes along with it to be in my hands in a week. No need to thank me for giving you such a generous time frame, blogster team, after all, I am a benevolent and forgiving king.
If I don't have it by next week I'll shit on your dinner table.
9 comments on So, When am I Going to be Featured Blogster?
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Well, if you THINK you are qualified to be the "big blogster on the block", then you have to wait just like the rest of us had to. The honor doesn't come overnight...and I mean overnight in biblical terms. So, keep on writing your good, wholesome stuff, make some people smile and nod in agreement while others turn green and cringe, and you just might get to sit on the throne...and it won't be a porcelain one.
Kiss-ass.
That guy blocked his profile so only friends can see it. Watch out, he might be coming for you!
Speaking based upon a previous conversation, how exactly is your computer messed up? Didnt you say it was slow or something? You have an updated anti-ware-type-stuff? Might want to scan for anything suspicious, just as a precaution with the other day's "event."
"If you catch my drift." ~wink~
(How gay is that line? I mean really, whos the guy from the 80's that said that, really? And, based on a stereotype developed out of nowhere else but my imagination, the person who says it also manuvers a "wink." Smooth move!)
i believe that you should most definatly be a featured bloger, the only people they put on the featured blogger list is old smelly gezzers, we need a change, i will help you achieve this...this...power you desire, and i might be able to get my horse know-it-all friend to help also. i hope you get the featured blogger thing. good luck "itallion stallion"
Are you into beastiality? You keep mentioning f-ing animals. I don't know, that's just the vibe I get from you. Maybe sadomasochism with the mentioning of the collar with spikes. Sounds like you're sick in the head no matter how you look at it. Maybe it's just an "Italian Stallion" thing.
~yaya
I believe in you, Bash Christianity as most of the bloggers come from some form of moral ethinicity of it, Randomly say something bad about the jews and then somehow paste a shortcut link of a video from youtube e.g "starwars from a 4 year old" And have some lyrics of your favourite song pasted as the title of the topic. I'm sure it'l get all the emotions mentioned above which are needed to get u featured.
-Adeem
Hell yea.
just wondering, but was I ever featured?
No. Do something Epic. And i'll make you an improvised version of "Featured User."